Goodbye ENGLAND!

Assalamualaikum n hii..
Last post written from the uk.. :')
Im going home tomorrow, 12pm UK time insyaAllah..

We went out to Commercial Road for the last shopping trip n lots of wonderful things happen..

I met a bunch of lovely and helpful people and im gonna miss their kindness towards strangers, something we dont hv enough in Malaysia.

oh, and i met a Malysian uncle in the street n he came here with his wife and children. He said he was uni of Portsmouth ex students in the 70s n now he came back!.. i secretly wish i could do the same someday.. aaminn..

I am a very shy with strangers and i always look down when walking outside but when i look up lots of people were smiling at me. Im missing these smiles all this while? The world is beautiful, look up :)

Im nervous.. super nervous to go back to Malaysia this time, i cant really explain to you or to myself why.

Well, the time has come, wish me luck.

Typing on my small phone, with limited internet, headache n nervousness n plenty of stuff needed to pack, so please excuse the errors n mistakes in my language.. hehe.. take care, bye!

posted from Bloggeroid

Memories-Dreams

It all started with me sitting in a bus, I don't remember who's sitting besides me but it should be someone I know. And the seats in front of me; I remember clearly who are sitting in those seats. A boy that I really like and his friend. I was so excited and I splashed some of my drinking water at him just to get his attention.And he threw some salt (what??) at me for revenge. It was so funny and I was so happy... and suddenly I saw a face that I've been missing so much these few months. He was sitting at the back seat, quite far from my place and he is just smiling while taking a peep at us. I remembered it is exactly the same look he gave to me when I had to change my bus and ended up being in the same bus with him- this happen while I was in my way back from IPDA. Omg, that very same look and smile... and it has been 4 years ever since and the memory came back to me now.. amazing. Brain never forgets things..

And we arrived at our destination which is supposed to be my Maktab. And the bus dropped some of us off and need to leave to other destinations. I was heartbroken because I know the boy is heading to another place. But I saw him just before he left and he kept disappearing and suddenly appears ...and that's how it went throughout the events.

I also saw my little sister and I was excited to introduce the boy to her and they did met but I don't think my lil sister has left a good impression, lol.

So, for some reason my maktab which I have left for a good 3 years has changed a lot and it looked like my secondary school with some of my secondary school's familiar faces. I don't like it, and I wish really hard that I haven't returned from the UK yet. And somehow I know this is just a dream and I'll wake up anytime soon and I'll be really relieved this isn't happening for real.'You're still in UK, you're still is, this is just a dream, wake up, wake up'. I tried really hard to wake up and yeah, at the end I did. But I don't feel as relieved as I thought I would be. Just another usual day to go through before I can go back to Malaysia.

Makhluk2 Aneh di Facebook.

It's 2 am in the morning and I'm still as fresh as a ... as a.. ? as a vegetable! pom boleh...

So, sebab saya xleh tdo, saya nak meluahkan perasaan la kat blog ni.. haha.
Caution: mix language + messed up grammar + mild content

I always try to keep my FB friend list simple and clean. means that I don't simply add people, in fact since I made my FB account I hardly add anyone else other than my classmates and my old best friends. So, for the rest of other people, it's very likely that they're the one that added me, but don't get me wrong; it's not that I'm complaining or bragging or anything, I'm just stating the fact.

So, like 70-80 % roughly that my FB friends are people that in the same age range like me, and those who are still studying and skema2 people just exactly like me.. haha. Jadi, xde la makhluk2 pelik kt FB tu. And I don't add people I don't know, freaks or spammer or people selling stuff,, shoosh2.. sorry but you're just wasting your space by adding me. But now I sometimes like to add people who like to post good ilmiah things, so I can learn something from them.

But though 80-95 % of my FB friends are 'normal' people, there are some special and 'interesting' people like:

The Critical thinking Men.

Ada la sorg mamat ni.. add sbb dia suka post benda2 baik dan kerap la memperdebat serta mengetengahkan isu2 penting but then.... he did that a little too much and it's kinda annoy me.. like satu hari ada la 20 kali dok berdebat.. x penat ke??? And certain things he raised was like... so questionable and so 'argueable' (selalunya cari pasal hal2 perempuan, haha,, u know how funny when a man talks about women but he gets things wrong? don't simply assume things about us. ok. ) sometimes, I just want to comment and ask him directly (on FB of course) tapi.. segan la plak.. (dang, but I could just PM him what? but purely to bash him not to flirt or anything, come on ler, professional kan..)

The sel-ca girls
 ... omg, I hate these species like.. urghhhhh...  u know, I don't mind people doing selca once in a while and put the pics in their albums in their page with some other pictures along. I did that too but selca with my friends la.. segan gak sorg2). But I do get very disturbed and irritated  when you put a picture of your face (which is obviously you take them by yourself, complete with make up on, hair or tudung done... in your bedroom ...like for what?? why do u have so much time, girls???) and you post them one by one as your STATUS. Like, imagine. those series of pictures lining up on my timeline and I just keep seeing your face and your face and your face as I scrolled down,, omg..... seriously girls.. I feel like I'm going to drop comments like nuclear bombs on their page. yeah, we do like to take pretty pictures of ourselves but please don't make it tooo obvious like you really desperately want to force everyone to see it.

Status Bajet

Paling xleh tahan bila buat ayat bajet hot : "Awak tahu x ramai jer yg beratur nak kt saya ni.. "@ "kalau sy nak boyfriend, bila2 masa je boleh dapat" ect, ect just utk cakap kt boyfriend dia tu.. "TAPI.. saya suka awk sorg je tau.. " di hujung ayat. Like... what is your point? like you're so pretty and popular and stuff and your boyfriend should feel happy that you feel sorry for him and choose him? and do u have to make that status public? (ni biasa kes2 budak sekolah x matang la.)

that's it. Unfriend. habis cerita.

Fashionista

Xde la masalah sgt dgn golongan2 ni .. yg suka bergaya dan memperagakan fashion2 terbaru..like that's your business tapi,, ada sekali tu someone ni bergaya dengan sweater, dgn winter coat, siap dgn knitted scarf kt leher berbelit2, siap dgn ear muff ... aik, bila masa dia duk oversea ni? bila org komen, dia ckp oh xde kt ats bukit ni,, hujan.. sejukk.. okay,,, so much for the fashion.

Artis Facebook.

Ini isu yg agak serius. Since I don't have any students yet, any young girls on my FB are just either my cousins or my little sister's friends. So, dorg ni suka la dok like gambar2 kt Instagram yg akan naik gak kt FB. And one time, I saw them liking a pic of a boy. Artis baru ke? sbb sgt la bergaya and comel gak, haha..
so, pi la usha. pelik gak sbb followers beribu2, siap ada fan page kt FB, which is beribu2 gak like.. kt Youtube ada org siap wat video tribute utk dia..I was like.. siapa dia ni?? rupanya2 dia cuma lah seorg budak sekolah yg baru habis PMR. So? what's with the thousands and thousands of girls and gays, er I mean guys following him on FB and Instag?? Well, cuz he's cute obviously. In my opinion, he is cute BUT he is too made up. Adik, kakak kt UK pon boleh nampak bedak dan mekap kt muka tu,, please, boys never need make up.
Adoi, terpikir gak klu dah jd cikgu nnti, nak ditakdirkan salah seorg student dlm kelas I rupa-rupanya artis FB, cmne agaknya.. cikgu nak tumpang glamor sekaki ke?



These are just minority people in my FB, yang lain sume bagus2, I love most my friends on FB, either the ones that I do know and hang out in the real world, or those who I just keep in touch through FB. Most of the times, I don't really care when people are being weird or annoyed but when things just get too out of hand, I just err..eliminated them (unfriend, not kill them or anything)

I'm worried for the future generations. That's why when someone suggest to have Facebook Education alongside Sex Education, I don't take that as a joke. We seriously need it!

My neighbour's cat

It's going to be a year since we live in this house, but we just realize the existence of this cat today. My neighbor has a cat! excited tp bkn boleh pi main2 pon,, huuu

These days I found myself browsing for pictures of cats and kittens on Google, watch funny cat videos on Youtube. I am so lonely =_=.

Interesting Things I found on eBay.

Favorite past time: Window shopping on eBay. (note: window shopping)

and found some pretty interesting items like:

1. if the texts you're reading too small:

2. if you're too lazy to hold your book while reading:

3. If you want to read before bed and too lazy to switch the light on and off:

4 If you want to experience playing with fake snow :

 5. If you want to keep a moon in your room:

 6. There are also several witches on eBay selling Jinn and a ring that can grant wishes..

 7. Also if you like paranormal things you can buy a haunted doll from eBay:

* look how many bids that doll got..

Just a fraction of eBay randomness...  ^_^

Scary movies not that scary.

 

Found this in my backyard..  haha nope. If this is real, I'll be making news! This is just something they build for Harry Potter movies, I went to Harry Potter studio last month in London and they show stuff they used in all Harry Potter movies. I'm never a fan of HP btw but I'm considering to buy all the books cuz I think the books are just more awesome than movies. They always do.

It's 1.36 am now and I just can't sleep. I have problem to sleep early lately and since Fajr prayer is soo early nowadays-- (2.30 am!) I develop this routine to sleep after 3 am and wake up 3 pm the next day. haha.. 'someone' always nag me for this. 

and yep I miss u blog! and since I don't have any assignments left now, I miss typing and making essays, lol, I really do, I know, weird but I do.

 and since we only have less than two months to go home, that's make me even nervous and anxious and er...what to expect and what to prepare to go home. I don't wanna think about it. not now :p

(Probably those who are kind enough to read this might be wondering now what the title and the picture have anything to do with me rambling about going home,, haha. )

A few days ago my friend suggested me to watch this scary/horror/ghost (idk) movie, and I did. I was a bit nervous (I don't always nervous about watching ghost movie alone btw) cuz the way he told me about this movie is a bit weird. I mean, he seems really scared, like .. something happen when they watched that movie.. and I was like.. a group of boys (or men considered their age) watched a horror movie together and still got scared and my friend even forced himself to fall asleep before the movie even ended (he told me he was too sleepy, yeah right) I think this might be a good one!

And I watched it, in midnight. alone in my room. and skipped quite a lot of parts (not because they're scary but because they're boring) and whattttt... you called this scary??

my friend was even surprised when I told him I've finished watching the movie till the very end.. and I even give the ending story to confirm (which he is unable to confirm cuz he slept halfway) and he was like.. seriously??? and i was like.. of course....what is wrongg with you????lol

 this is the movie btw, it's not ghost but more of a possessing spirit 

 The Possession 2012

The scariest movie I ever watched (which is still not that scary) is Shutter. 

 I think a lot of scary movies I watched are trying too much to be scary which resulted them not being scary at all.

 and I'm sorry for this so insignificant post but I'm waiting for me to fall asleep, lol, bye. 

 

Right here, right now

Hi, Assalamualaikum to whoever nice enough to read this ,,, : D

Right now me and my friends in Portsmouth are having a nice break from our assignments . As you can see in the pic above, I got almost all things crossed out. I have only one exam left and it's just one hour paper,,, sooo... no pressure, lol (x study lagi ni.) ahaha.. laptop and tuan laptop sama2 nak meletup da ni...

My dissy... finally.. ok, no super big expectation for the marks.. asal lulus.. 60% lebih2 sikit pon okay la, bersyukur sgt sgt da.. huhu.. I know my topic is not super complicated impressive enough like the others,,, da la nipis jer.. hahaha T_T

soo.. what will I do for the rest of my spring break? No big plan yet.. mybe just having a small tour around Portsmouth and England.. definetly no plan to go abroad.. mybe pi kampung sebelah je,, ^_^

Okay, till next time, love love love.. bye!

GirlsNightOut

I secretly wish for a night with my girl friends, ordering pizza, and buy lots of junk food, watch horror movies on the big screen, or actions or silly comedy would be fine too, talking about boys and life and dress we're gonna wear for the ball, spread the duvet on the floor and just lying in our PJs and with a face mask on, or we can sing and I'll play the guitar, just a night to chill without worrying about anything. orrr mybe i'm too old for this kind of sleepover but well, better than never?

sangat la x islamik hah.

At the moment.

Assalamualaikum wbt...

It's been ages I know, I miss you blog. that's what I've been saying again and again but I never make any effort to write something here.. at least once a week. haha, lazy or just..
 hesitate to write?

blogging has been something so intimidating for me to do.
people can be so judgmental and I don't feel free to write here anymore.

do i have any options? private? delete? like lots of my friends have done to theirs? 
nah.. I don't intend to do that. at least not for now.

It's actually 4.02 am at the moment. And I slept at 11.30 pm and I woke up at around 2.30 am and couldn't sleep after that cuz I am soooo HUNGRY! and I just can't eat because I'm starting to get fat now.
My sleep time is like a complete mess at the moment and I just sleep at the most randomest time but since I don't have to go to classes anymore so I don't have to worry about falling asleep n late to class ect, ect. which is a super good thing for sleepyhead like me ^___^

We're all (and by WE, i mean me and my classmates and pretty much all the final year students in UK) so, We're all working our butt off for our dissertation. But i would like to thank those who generously spend their time answering my questionnaires and stuff,, i love you all!! ^^

there's about a week or so left before the submission date, so I'm not sure if that's supposed to make me feel happy or sad or just plain crazy.

my supervisor, Linda has just fly (by the plane, of course) to Malaysia and I'm all by my own now. .. but.... hope my dissy will turn out to be just fine..aaminn.. i'm not putting any expectation just hoping that i can finish it on time and I'm satisfied with it.

and after dissy submission, there are still few assignments to go, and exams.. so, pretty busy days ahead.
and also I'll be spending the last few months in UK.. well, i'll think about this later..


last but not least.

I am having a cold war with this person . again.
if by any chance YOU read this.
i just wanna say; (omg, marry me marry me marry me me*^%*^*^)
"please!!! Stop it. I'm tired!"

Finsbury Park, London.

I love him.

 Assalamualaikum wbt........

Actually I have been thinking for a while to write this. But so many things happen and I keep delaying it, again and again.. until recently, I feel the need to explain, to certain people.. and to myself, especially.

I'm sorry for causing so many ... 'questions', so many 'guesses', 'assumptions'.. 'gossipss'...ect, ect. It wasn't really people's fault if they talk about us. I must admit I'm very paranoid if I found out people were talking about me- behind my back. Too scared if they say wrong things about me and I'm not there to explain.
 I don't like being the topic of people's conversation especially if it's not involving something good. I'd rather be unknown, uninteresting that nobody wants to talk about me. (That's why xmau jadi artis..ha3)

But....it's all my fault, really. I'm too secretive. too careful with my secrets, that people can't help but to keep wondering and asking.

"Faiqah bercinta dengan sapa skang ni??" ----ala2 ayat lia..haha
I wish I could tell. I really wish.
But the truth is, I can't really tell.
Because honestly, I'm not with anyone right now.

A while ago.. unconsciously.. I set my own definition of 'in a relationship' status.

I don't want to say that "I'm in a relationship with bla bla" unless that person:

Officially meet my family 

and brave enough to tell them that he loves me and wants to marry me.

Once he did that.. its all set!
I'm in a relationship with "Mr. Brave-enough-to-meet-my-family-and-tell-them-he-likes-me", yippee~

but.. until then.. I'd rather consider myself as "single and available" and I can fall in love with anyone I want! 'Cause... no man obviously have rights on me yet.

 Yes, still I can't deny that I have someone in my mind at the moment.
but honestly, until he become "Mr. Brave bla bla.." I don't want to openly say I'm with him.

I've seen so many love stories around me. Real ones. the guy dah admit, dh propose.. dh jumpa family, but at the end, they don't ended up together. And those who go through all kind of things... but still at the end, they got married and live happily. And those who got married and lived happily,, until the husband fall in love with someone else and runs with new wife.. ishk2.. macam2.

That's why.... with all the lessons from people around me... I feel it's extremely important to guide my heart. To never let it fall too hard on a man. I used to fall in love with this person so much that I didn't see any other man who would be my husband. I wanted him and only him! but it turns out after a while, i can still fall for another guy. So.. my point is.. never be too sure that: she's my wife! he's my husband! until that special moment aka akad nikah comes.

"Allah yg mewujudkan rasa cinta antara dua insan. dan bila-bila masa sahaja Dia boleh menarik kembali rasa cinta antara dua insan itu."




It's not impossible. I tell you.

Memula mmg ingat dah cinta mati la dengan dia ni.
lepas tu, boleh jer suka kt org lain pulak.
so, don't worry too much Faiqah, if he's not the one.
you can still find someone else to fall in love with, insya Allah.

So, konklusinya.

I'm single.
I'm not with anyone.
Even if I do like someone, and he might like me too;
I won't say I'm his.. until he acts like a real gentleman
like seorang yg beragama, seorg yg tau hukum hakam
someone who respects me, respects my family
serious and knows what he wants in life.
but if you can't do that
though I love you with all my heart
and if there's someone else who can do that
I will accept that person.
not much of a problem for me. Insya Allah.
If he's the one that Allah has choose for me.
So, I can confidently say; right now, I love him. my future husband.
wherever he is at the moment, kt UK ke, kt Mlysia ke, kt syurga ke.

At this age,
It's really not a time utk couple-couple.. main-main
ngorat sana, ngorat sini tanpa tujuan yang jelas.
no  time for that! okayyy
(Plus.. da la skang time2 kna wat dissy.. adeh..)

Lastly, again. I'm sorry. I can't help sometimes. I get excited, I can't hide my feelings, I'm in love and people can see how happy I am. I want to tell people, I want to share it with you, but I can't. I'm too scared of how it turns out to be. And everyone knowing my story would make it even worse for me. I'm not strong enough. :(

In fact, I kinda have a bit of a regrets for telling people about him, though it's just among a few people. I don't want to hope so much for something so vague.

akhir kata,doakan. ;)

please, Mr __ .

♡ Girls' Day Out ♡

 * sanggup merantau ke kampung sebelah utk makan Nandos halal..haha

So nice.. so sweet... considering 'some' of us are getting married soon... :)

Uhibbuka Fillah.

F:





M: La Tahzan ya ukhti..kenapa?

F: 






M: Hurm..honestly, ramai lelaki zaman skrg xelok

so, jaga2

takut kecewa nanti...

F: ...





M: Ya, ini apply untuk ana sekali..

so,kalau suka dekat sorang tu, jangan suka sngat2

kalau benci, jangan benci sngt2 jgk

Tapi xsemua lelaki sama

n dlm bab jodoh, usaha itu perlu

nak rumahtangga yg baik, bagus, bahagia

kena pandai cari pasangan yg baik, soleh/solehah

xsemesti yg belajar agama tinggi2

xsemestinya ustaz/ustazah cukuplah dia seorang yg beriman, buat yg Allah suruh, tinggal apa yg dilarang, jaga

solat, baik perangai

F:


M: Jodoh itu rahsia Allah

taktau kan apa yg Allah sedia utk kita

sentiasa baik sangka, n usaha

byk doa

tp, bg ana, mmg kena usaha sungguh2 la

sbb once da kawin, xleh undur balik

F:


M:

Memories in Auron

So... last winter trip, we went to France. To Nice, Monacco, Cannes, and Auron. Auron is the most special of all; cuz it's on top of a mountain, and it's full of snow,, though France is quite hot, generally.
Alhamdulillah, my friends finally can go skiing... we've actually made plan to ski since last 2011, we went to Scotland for that purpose, but it wasn't snowing in UK last year, (actually it was, but it was pretty late.. so.. we've missed it!)

I didn't do the 'skiing' bit cuz I was lazy.. and I'm not that interested to try. So my job while my friends went skiing : is taking pictures! (and ak jugalah ajk minuman, ajk keselamatan, ect..haha) cuz apparently, when you wear the skiing shoes, and holding the skiing stick, you're pretty much useless and can't move around that much.




Here are some short clips (really short, unfortunately..) of our memories in Auron ::::::

Warkah Cinta~ ♥

Assalamualaikum wbt;

Salam 2013..  syukur masih diberi kesempatan hidup hingga ke saat ini. Pernah ak ingat ak akan meninggal tahun lepas, atau bumi mmg betul2 akan berakhir tahun lepas.. iyalah, mitos 21/12/2012 tu kan.. boleh pulak ak percaya manusia boleh menentukan tarikh kiamat. Mana mungkin manusia boleh meneka perkara yang akan berlaku 1000 tahun kemudian, sedangkan nak teka cuaca hari esok pun x semestinya tepat.hmm... okay la tutup la cerita 2012 ni.

Blog, blog, ak rindu kamu.. ak ingin nak menulis setiap hari.. but it's not easy to write anymore.. kekangan masa, malas, tapi sebab yang paling utama, terlalu banyak benda yang ak takut untuk berkongsi. terlalu banyak benda yg ak terpaksa pilih untuk rahsiakan dari pengetahuan umum.

Tapi, ada satu yg ak boleh cerita..2, 3 hari ni, ak habiskan masa lapang dengan mnonton satu drama bersiri ni, tajuk dia: Warkah Cinta. Adaptasi novel Warkah Cinta Berbau Syurga (lebih kurang la, x igt sgt). ak x suka drama Melayu sebenrnya. X pernah teringin pun nak tgk Adam Hawa ke.. Nora Elena ke.. geli ah. Novel Melayu pun ak x pernah baca sebenarnya. Serius. Walaupun zaman2 sekolah dulu femes novel tebal ala2 kamus tu.. tp ak x pernah baca satu pun. x minat...

 Tapi drama ni.. menarik betul la.

Walaupun dialog agak skema.. lakonan agak kaku.. tapi ak suka sangat.
Kadang2 ak prefer cerita mcm ni, straight to the point, simple, mesejnya jelas. x perlu la nak berdrama bagai cm sinetron Indon tu.. serabut kepala dibuatnya.

I recommend people to watch it. Sedih la ceritanya. dan paling penting ibrahnya.

*syabas buat director/penulis skrip sbb mmg xde lngsung scene pegang2 antara pelakon- xde scene tidur sekatil wlupun watak laki bini, xde scene nk pegang2 wlupun nk selamatkan org accident, ect,ect. mmg terjaga semuanya..

Erkk.. cmne ak boleh tertgk drama ni? urm.. kisahnya bermula bila ak menyakat 'seorang' ni. Ak gurau2 suruh dia cakap 'I miss you' kat aku.. tapi dia x mau. Lalu dia kata.... Ungkapan cinta itu hanyalah untuk isteri dia yang sah sahaja. omo, tergolek ak depan laptop.. kena sebijik..haha

Lalu dia pun suggest utk ak tgk cerita ni.  itulah kisahnya.